The Sting of Death

I have a brother-in-law who is a likeable kind of guy. He’s spent most of his adult life serving others as a pastor both here in Canada as well as in Hong Kong and Africa. His last name is Birch. For a number of years he used to write a column for a leadership magazine called “Birch Bark” which was not unlike this papers “Pastors Point” column. In it he would touch on world events as well as things he was pondering in his own life. ‘Used to write’ is the operative word because at age 68 he has been told he has days and possibly weeks to live. Cancer has overwhelmed his body.

In my calling as a pastor I have observed many people as they approach death and begin the dying process. Some are courageous and appear settled in their thoughts, others rail at God and the unfairness of what they perceive to be death coming much too early. Others struggle emotionally, worrying about those they will leave behind. Sometimes they can’t get past the anger stage and unfortunately leave a trail of sadness and unrest for the loved ones they leave behind.

Mentioning The Unmentionable

It is strange the things that pop into one’s mind. For me, not long ago, it was a childhood prayer. It’s not one that I prayed a lot as a kid but I have for some reason memorized it. I’m sure most of you are familiar with it too.

Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray the Lord my soul to keep,

If I should die before I wake,

I pray the Lord my soul to take.

Dying has for many today, like sex in the 19^th century, become the great unmentionable. Death is not something we talk much about and certainly not with children. But this classic children’s prayer, from the 18^th century New England Primer, the most successful educational textbook published in 18th century America, was part of every child’s reading instruction. I was thinking about this prayer because I was thinking about death, my death and the imminent death of people I love.

Yesterday evening I had this very enthusiastic teenage girl knock on my front door.

Full of energy and smiles, she told me that she was representing a local lawn care company that was offering free lawn assessments and she asked if I would like to have someone come by.

Now, the lawns at my home are OK, but it can never hurt to get a second opinion, so I said sure. The girl thanked me and told me that I had made a great decision.

Well, it wasn’t two hours later and that front door knock came again. This time it was the professional. He had just taken a look at our property and proceeded to give me his recommendations as well as his very reasonably priced solution to all our needs. The best part: I wouldn’t have to lift a finger for the next year because the company he represented would do all the work for me. Was there a cost? Yes, but the payoff was never having to get my hands dirty.

I’ve been thinking a lot about spiritual growth during the last few weeks.

My conclusion?

That it takes work and that there is a cost of time and personal energy and effort ... but it is worth it.

It happened again just last week. I was out in the community talking with a teenager who seemed to be full of laughs and stories about sports teams and friends. Then, as I have experienced many times before, something changed in this teens demeanor and she suddenly got a very serious look on her face. Slowly, she reached up her fist toward my eyes and opened it to reveal three tiny words written on the palm of her hand. It read, “I am unloved.”

One of the things that I love about teenagers is that they are pretty bold in letting you know how they feel if you show them that you are willing to listen. It can make hanging out with them a lot of fun, but it can also cause deep sadness.

This morning, while thinking about this student, I read the words of King David in the Bible. In Psalm 31 he writes, “Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.”

Our personal strength or emotional stability comes from somewhere deep within us. It is so often called upon to help us make it through a hard day or to hold our own in an ongoing relational or family challenge. We also look to it to help us stand with others who are hurting or can’t seem to make it on their own – we let them lean on us.